Sometimes things are just plain tough...
Let me start by saying I am not looking for sympathy or wallowing in self pity here.... or even trying to get donations or anything like that.
I guess I am mostly venting outwardly and seeking for understanding.
It all has to do with the kids. It gets so hard and here lately, it seems as though no one understands or fully gets it.
Jeremiahs day..
intermentant pain (meaning we have to leave wherever we are at or stop whatever we are doing b/c he is SCREAMING... not crying loudly... SCREAMING with eyes bulging in terror for at least half an hour to several hours. Do you know what its like to see your 3 year old scream in a terrified trance and all you can say when he screams for you to make it better is "I can't"? If you don't... let me tell you... it sickens me to my stomach, tears my heart out and leaves me feeling helpless, scared, angry, sad and horrified that he has to hurt like this EVERY day of his life.
He also has severe behavior issues. He is not autistic but has "autistic qualities". He becomes so out of control, that again, we have to stop what we are doing or leave where we are at to attend to him b/c we can't hear anyone over his screaming and he has become a danger to himself and others in this state.
He is also very weak and collapses sometimes when trying to run or jump.
We also discovered at the eye doctor he seems to be color blind. Though not a huge blow... it still was just one more thing my little boy will need to deal with.
Sierra (6):
Her pain is more aches and pains but her threshold for pain has become alarmingly high. Her shoulder was dislocated and the only thing she said was that her shoulder would pop and then hurt and then she would get dizzy. But it didn't really hurt her too bad at all she said. and in one day Jerry might put that same shoulder back in place 10 times! It just falls out! Most of her joints dislocate this easily and hurt her, but not like you would think. She has become very tough.
But she is also constantly bed ridden with tummy aches, headaches, dizziness and extreme fatigue.
She crawls through the house, sits in the shower and rides in the cart at the store b/c she often cannot walk b/c of her dizziness.
Her eyes, we are finding out are degenerating very quickly, and she already has very poor eyesight. She will also need prisms put into her glasses. Apparently people start to see double at a prism 3 and she is at a 4. No wonder the poor kid is so dizzy all the time. Her new glasses will be here this week, praise God for that!!! Hopefully that will help with that. The eye doc seemed very pessimistic about the outcome for her eyes.
And both Jeremiah and Sierra have seizures that are being controlled with anti convulsants though we are switching which one they are taking as the current med they are on makes their disease worse.
Other children:
Taylor and Titus both have small tremors, minor discomfort and some learning and behavior difficulties.
In general, its just plain hard to have your children all coming to you through out the day hurting, or having a screaming fit... MORE than a normal temper tantrum of a toddler mind you. It's also very difficult to see your child have to try SO hard to learn... which is why, actually, I am very glad to home school them. So I can help them and they don't get brushed aside and I can ensure as good an education as they can receive with the troubles they have.
The biter of it all though is that this will be life long for them. They will hurt like this until it kills them basically. And some days thats a harsh reality when I see just HOW bad they hurt and how little they understand when having an "episode". Their comprehension in general seems normal to the outsider... but when dealing with day to day issues... its near impossible to resolve any situation. Much like autism.
Like I said... this isn't to gain pity... more just for understanding and venting...
Sometimes it just all hurts so bad.
And with this busy week this week, its going to be especially tough.
Thanks for listening.
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12 comments:
I will pray for you all this week. You know how much I love you!
ty marcy! i love you too!!
I have been following your families story for some time now and the first thing that always comes to mind is that if all of your children are now exhibiting some sort of issues, I would look to environmental influences. I know genetics makes sense also but sometimes there are things lurking in the home, out in the open, deep behind the walls.....or even next door, that can greatly effect the health of our children. Your children's symptoms fit many many disorders and sicknesses that are caused by some sort of toxin they are being exposed to. I am just saying it might be worth looking into.
You are all in my prayers! :)
first and foremost I send you big HUGS! I know they dont solve anything but maybe in some way it helps to know someone cares. I can't say I understand because everybody is different in how they feel and understand things. I do relate somewhat in the screaming fit issue. It does hurt to watch your children go through things like this.
Blessings and prayers to you all,
Tami
PRAYING JEREMIAH HOME QUICKLY
www.tillGodbringsthemhome.blogspot.com
Hi Anonymous! :-) LOL
It's SO nice to hear that more paople understand environmental influences as well! Not many people get that these days... too eager to run to the docs. Unfortunately that was the first avenue we checked out and after many toxicity tests and 2 moves no change... well except they kept getting worse. Dietary changes (gluten free, dairy free, all chemical, msg preservative free... which ofcourse those last couple are good to stay away from anyways) and testing the homes we have lived in for toxins.
We did that for over a year with no help. :-( How I wished it was that though.
But thanks for speaking up! I think its GREAT to inform people of how toxic our society is nowadays and how to steer clear of them as much as possible and how to treat exhisting toxicities.
Thinking back now to detoxing the whole family. It was such a blessing we did anyways... boy how I wish it had worked. :-(((
But at least we have learned now how to keep toxins to a minimum for general health reasons.
Thank you Tami!!! I am praying for your dear sweet Jeremiah too!!! :-)))
I was about to say to anon that you had tried that. I remember when this all started the two things I suggested was diet and demonic influences. You worked out both. The bad part is that I KNOW satan is using whatever part of this that he can for his glory. You fight him Heather.
Be strong.
You are in our prayers.
Many people with the sort of problems your children suffer with benefit greatly from a raw milk diet. I know it may sound crazy but raw milk has been used for a long time now to cure or least reduce the symptoms of many illnesses. I know for me personally it works and when I have one of my conditions flair up a fast drinking only raw milk for a few days seems to do the trick.
Oh Michelle. You dont know whow much I needed to hear that right now!!! Satan is hitting HARD today and yesterday!!!! I love you so much! You always know what to say and what needs to be heard!
You are very right about the raw milk thing Anon... unfortunately... that didn't work either. :-(
that was from me heather btw!!!! lol NOT jerry!!! i gotta stop doing that!!!
Hi guys! Just wanted to know you are in our prayers!
I also wanted to comment on what Anon said about the raw milk.......I have found that raw goats milk is far better than the raw cow's milk. It breaks down differently in the body and contains some things the cows does not. We currently get our raw goats milk from a local farm right outside of Midland.
Heather, I'm so sorry. :-( I'm praying for you.
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